Out
by futotta neko
Summary: Coming out is never easy. Taking your blutbad boyfriend to your work Christmas do is a radical solution. What will Hank say?


A/N: A little silly, mostly light-hearted and shamelessly fluffy. And full of awkward dialogues, because I'm a sucker for those. Hope you enjoy. And also, apologies to anyone who actually works in forensics ;).

* * *

When they arrived at a set of heavy-looking double doors inside the Märchenhaus Hotel the two men paused and faced each other. One of them wasn't a man in the strictest sense, but looking at him now in his dark brown three-piece that matched his eyes you couldn't really tell.

"Are you sure you wanna do this, Nick?" the blutbad asked.

"Well, we're here now and you're crazy about Christmas stuff, so.."

The human brought up a hand and started tugging at his perfectly innocent tie.

"At least the bar's free. God, I need a drink!"

Monroe mustered him carefully. The detective looked about as comfortable as a mausherz wrapped in bacon standing in front of a lauseschlange. Obviously, even a brave guy like Nick had to be scared of _something_.

"Look, man, I can still go home if you want." The clockmaker allowed a hint of playful melodrama into his voice. "I'll be just fine sitting in the dark all on my own with a bottle of wine watching reruns of 'Frosty the Snowman' while you're having fun with your colleagues. I don't mind. Especially if they're gonna play noise like that all night."

He cocked his head at the wooden doors. Happy, generic pop tunes were already seeping through. They'd arrived late on purpose, Nick had been eager to ensure the party room was crowded and there weren't too many eyes on both of them. And, comfortingly, half the people in there hardly even knew him. Portland PD's infamous Christmas parties had always been a 'bring your partner' kind of event. Though last year Nick went on his own and Hank teased him all night. Things were looking unlikely to change in that department.

"Well, I'm sorry we don't cater to your very specific taste."

"It's not _specific_ ", Monroe shrugged, "I just prefer _music_ , you know?"

Nick rolled his eyes. Of course, he knew. Anything that didn't feature at least ten different instruments or wasn't jazz or old school rock didn't qualify.

"Anyway, what's the matter, do you have a problem now or what?"

Monroe could not help but grin at Nick's barely successful attempt to hide his nerves behind a thin layer of irritation.

"No, man, _I_ don't have a problem. I am one hundred percent problem free."

"Okay?"

"I just.. didn't think you'd want to do it like _this_. Thought you'd behave like a normal person, just tell a couple of people here and there and let the rumour spread, hang it on the grapevine, so to say. Instead you're opting for the big bang kind of approach."

Nick sighed and continued to abuse his tie. He didn't have many friends outside of work. Kehrseite friends, that is. He just didn't seem to have much of a _life_ outside of work. As good as every single human being whose opinion he cared about was on the other side of those solid oak doors right now. Nobody ever missed the Christmas party. A lot of his colleagues would probably recognise Monroe's face anyway, from the many times he'd helped with an investigation. Some remembered his name. A few were aware that him and Nick shared a house. But nobody knew they shared a bedroom, too. Not yet, anyway.

"Look, I've had enough of you moaning that I never tell anyone about us", Nick explained, "so we'll settle this once and for all."

"Hey, I wasn't _moaning_ ", Monroe protested, "I was just.. _remarking_."

Though after all this time together he was, maybe, starting to get a _tiny_ bit sensitive about being Nick's dirty little secret, and not being allowed to touch Nick in public, not even casually.

"Yeah. Last time you 'remarked' you stopped talking to me for a day."

"Oh, that.."

They both looked down for a moment and Nick grimaced at the way too recent memory. Monroe had picked up their house phone that morning. It turned out to be Nick's ex from a couple of years back, God knows how she'd found him, probably through Hank, his partner had always said it was such a shame that him and Marlene had split up. For some reason she wanted to reconnect. Nick snatched the phone out of Monroe's hand and when Marlene asked him who that was, that guy with the lovely voice, Nick panicked and said it was nobody, no one at all. He realised he'd fucked up straight away and when he hung up Monroe was staring at him in silence, burning a hole into his heart and filling it with reproach. Then he grabbed his jacket and went out and Nick couldn't reach him for the rest of the day until he came home late, smelling of whiskey. They made up, of course. Nick apologised profusely and Monroe said no, it was his fault, he'd been stupid and overreacted. Then they made love. Still, that incident told Nick he had to get his act together sooner rather than later, preferably _before_ Monroe decided to dump his sorry non-committal ass for someone who'd truly appreciate him. Because by now Nick was pretty sure he'd be lost without Monroe. He'd never been with someone so loyal and caring. He knew he owed it to the clockmaker to stand by the true nature of their relationship. And still, this party promised to be about as much fun as doing your tax return. Or ripping off a plaster in one quick jerk and exposing the sensitive skin underneath.

"At least after tonight _everyone_ will know", the detective grumbled, "so I'll never have to talk about it again."

"Are you really this embarrassed to be with me?"

"No, it's not _you_ , Monroe, you know that! I mean, you look great and all.."

Nick made a vague gesture in his direction. It was an epic understatement. Monroe was incredibly handsome in his immaculately-tailored suit and bow tie and Nick would have jumped him a dozen times already if they were in private. Privacy was important.

"It's just.. no one even knows I'm into guys. And not _everybody_ likes to spread out their personal life in front of people, you know?" Nick gave him a meaningful look. "Not _everybody_ is eager to run off and inform whoever can be bothered to listen who they're sleeping with."

Monroe gave an apologetic chuckle and ruffled his hair. Admittedly, once Nick had allowed him to tell his own personal wesen friends at least it didn't take him very long to do so.

"I'm just happy to call to call you my boyfriend, that's all."

"Well, some of us can be perfectly happy with their mouths shut", Nick pointed out.

"Guess so", Monroe mused, "but, personally, I am much happier when you _do_ open your mouth for me.."

Instantly, the detective flushed and elbowed him in the side, pretty hard, actually, but it was totally worth the pain.

"Stop it, you!"

It was still deliciously easy to make Nick blush. He was a little on the reserved side when it came to talking about sex and Monroe could not help teasing him from time to time.

"Can we leave the innuendo for the rest of the night?!"

"Alright, man", the clockmaker grinned, "whatever you say, man."

"And _please_ , for the love of God, don't call me your 'boyfriend' in there. What are we, like, twelve?"

"What else shall I call you then, honey?"

"Nothing!" Nick snapped. "Just.. maybe try not to talk so much?"

"Right", Monroe rolled his shoulders with a sigh. "You know, 'Frosty the Snowman' is starting to sound more and more appealing somehow.."

"No, we're going in", Nick was quick to reassure him.

"Wait.."

"Now what?"

"Look what you've done to your tie. Well, _my_ _tie_ , actually. Let me fix it."

Nick threw a cautious glance up and down the corridor.

"Okay. Quick."

Monroe smiled and carefully ignored the instruction. He took his time – Nick was at his mercy anyway. He couldn't do up a tie to save his life, but that was okay, Monroe ejoyed dressing him almost as much as he would enjoy peeling him out of his formal wear later that night. He undid the mess that Nick had made and tied a fresh Windsor knot, stroking along Nick's chest as he straightened out the tie.

"I love you."

"Me too", the Grimm sounded rather absent-minded when he opened one of the tall doors and went in.

By now there were at least a hundred people gathered inside the huge party room, standing together in little groups or sitting around the tables. Some were helping themselves to the buffet and the free bar. Impressively, others were drunk enough already to throw some weird shapes on the dance floor. Forensics staff, mostly. Those guys were known to get hammered before anyone else.

"Whoa, Nick, I got tree envy!" Monroe whispered in the detective's ear. "That Christmas tree is awesome, man! Let's go have a closer look. And I wonder where they got that weird nutcracker bunting from.."

Monroe was looking around the room in excitement, inspecting the decorations. Nick shook his head. Oh, great! His lover was in child mode and did not seem to appreciate the whole seriousness of the situation and how fucking terrified Nick was. He was pretty sure that he was soon to become the laughing stock of the whole precinct and that nobody was going to take him seriously as a detective ever again. Well, come what may, Monroe was more important to him than work or anything else in the world, though, of course, Nick would never say that out loud.

He was about to suggest that they got a drink first of all but it was already too late. Hank had spotted them and was moving towards them with big, happy steps and a grin on his face. Nick's heart was beating more and more unevenly with every step that his partner took.

"Hey, buddy", Hank shouted as he approached, "I almost started to think you weren't -"

It was only now that he seemed to notice Monroe, though the blutbad's tall, lanky shape was hardly inconspicuous. Hank must have had a few already. Briefly, he paused in his stride – before coming really close and shooting them both conspiratorial glances.

"Hey, guys", he whispered, "are we in some kind of wesen trouble? Is something going down tonight?"

He sounded incongruously excited. For Hank, the whole Grimm thing was still pretty new and shiny. For Nick, it was just his life.

"Have you brought your dopple-ram-burst, Nick?"

"Doppelarmbrust", Monroe suggested, "and dude, we're in a room full of cops with guns, you realise that, right?"

"No, Hank, chill out", Nick said, "nothings's going down tonight, we're good."

"Oh", Hank frowned at his partner and took a step back. "Okay, then.. uh.."

His gaze slid across to Monroe. Nick could almost hear the cogs turning in his head, lubricated by beer, trying to work out what the blutbad was here for if not to help them save Portland, as usual. For a moment or two, Hank's good manners seemed to wrestle with curiosity on the tip of his tongue before he finally stretched out a hand.

"Hey, man, good to see you."

"You too, Hank", Monroe shook it happily, "seems like a good party you've got here, do I smell cinnamon cookies?"

"Oh, they're great", Hank directed his attention back to the Grimm, "guess your girlfriend was indisposed, then?"

"I don't have a girlfriend, Hank, I told you so before."

"Yeah, yeah, you _always_ say that", Hank sighed, "but you _got_ to have a girlfriend, Nick, you just seem disgustingly happy all of the time.. Thought you'd said you're bringing her along tonight so I can meet her at last.."

"No, I said I'm bringing the person I'm dating."

"Then why haven't you?"

Nick took a deep breath as his fingers curled into fists. This was going to be even more difficult than he'd thought. He was about to try and offer an explanation when Hank turned to Monroe once again.

"Hey, no offence, man, I'm just saying, I can't believe Nick doesn't have anyone, I mean, _you_ gotta know, you guys are living together, right? Doesn't he go on dates or something?"

"Oh, don't worry", Monroe grinned, "he goes on plenty of dates."

Or, more precisely, as often as Monroe managed to drag him out of the house to go to a restaurant or the theatre or to catch a concert and whatnot. Though Nick seemed to prefer spending the little free time that he had curled up on the sofa watching Netflix and getting his hair stroked.

"So, doesn't he bring his dates home?"

"You could say so, I guess."

"Hey!", Nick chipped in, "I'm standing right here!"

"And?", Hank was ignoring him completely, "What are they like? Are they hot?"

"Well, It's not up to me to judge, really", Monroe mused, "I suppose it's always a reasonably well-groomed individual - "

"Yeah, okay, enough now", the Grimm cut him off, red-faced. "Look, Hank, I don't have a _girlfriend_ , I've got a.. um.."

"A fuck buddy?"

"What?"

"I mean, it's cool, man, I'm totally open-minded."

"No."

"Oh.. I've got it, you're seeing a married woman, aren't you? That's why you couldn't bring her, isn't it?"

Barely disguised envy crept onto Hank's face.

"Don't tell me you're seeing a married lady!"

"Well, I'm not!"

Hank raised an eyebrow, seemingly out of options. Nick peeked over at Monroe, but all he got from his lover was a mischievous shrug. Well, Nick had brought it upon himself, really, he'd been the one telling Monroe not to talk, and now he was regretting it as the clockmaker was so much better at this.

"I brought Monroe along, because..", Nick could feel sweat building at the back of his neck, ".. Monroe is my partner."

There, he said it. But the reaction wasn't quite what he'd expected.

"Yeah, of course, I know that", Hank noted, impatiently, "I know doing all your Grimm stuff together is really important, but you gotta have a private life too, Nick, you gotta - "

"I'm not talking about the Grimm stuff!" Nick barked, at the very end of his tether. "Monroe is my boyfriend, okay? He's my boyfriend! We're dating! Is that so hard to comprehend?!"

Monroe gazed at him in surprise. He thought Nick wasn't so fond of that particular term. But that was nothing compared to the gobsmacked expression on _Hank's_ face when he finally got it. The older detective's eyes were helplessly flicking between them until they finally remained glued to Monroe's face, as if asking him to please clarify this strange misunderstanding as, obviously, Nick was experiencing a moment of madness.

"'Tis true, Hank", Monroe informed him nonchalantly.

"Wha..?"

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you before", Nick felt compelled to elaborate as Hank seemed to have lost the gift of speech. "I wanted to, I just didn't know how t-"

"Wait, you're saying you two are sleeping together?!"

Hank's good manners went out of the window for good.

"Hank!", Nick hissed, "What the.."

"Yeah", Monroe confirmed proudly.

"Monroe!", Nick hissed, "We _talked_ about this!"

"Hey, dude, that wasn't _innuendo_ , he _asked_."

The clockmaker pointed at Hank, shifting the blame, whilst Hank kept staring at both of them in turn. Nick could not get rid of the impression that right now Hank was trying to work out which one of them went on top. The Grimm brought up a hand to cover his eyes and started rubbing them furiously.

"Great.. great.."

Well, at least this couldn't _possibly_ get any more awkward, could it?

"Fine, yes, we're sleeping together", he finally admitted, defeated. "We're doing all the things that couples normally do."

"In addition to all the really weird shit", Monroe chipped in, helpfully.

Now both the detectives were staring at him in open-mouthed shock.

"Hey, hey", the blutbad raised his hands in defense, "I was talking about our wesen investigations, of course, doesn't strike me as a regular couples activity. What were _you two_ thinking?"

He hoped he had not messed up his chances of getting any tonight as Nick was giving him the look of death. But, thankfully, Hank seemed to be slowly collecting himself and decided not to ask any further questions regarding their bed habits. He started a fresh thread of conversation. Everyone was deeply grateful.

"Well.. that.. actually explains a lot, you know?"

"Right?", Nick agreed, cautiously, but with relief already seeping into his voice, "I'm actually surprised you haven't figured it out by yourself, with us living together and all."

"Hey, _you_ told me you just wanted to save money! I didn't even.. I mean, what the hell, Nick?! You're my best mate, is there _anything else_ you've kept from me, maybe, apart from you being some kind of fairy tale knight – _and gay_?"

"We're not fairy tales", Monroe pouted.

"I.. uh..", Nick scratched his head, ".. nope, I think that's it for now."

"I mean, how long have you been.."

"Dunno, about eight months, maybe?"

"Eight months!"

"Seven months and twenty-one days, actually", Monroe clarified, glancing at his watch, "and 3 hours."

He was once again met by two pairs of astonished detective eyes. He shrugged.

"Clock-maker here."

"So wait, it was _you_ who sent Nick that chocolate cake to work? For his birthday?"

"Sure."

"Man, that cake was something else! What did you make that from?"

"Tofu, mostly."

"Ew.."

Hank's enthusiasm took a sudden nosedive. Monroe's, on the other hand, didn't.

"I know, it sounds weird, but you wouldn't believe how versatile tofu is, actually.."

"Uh huh."

".. I mean, you can make almost _anything_ from it, for example, I like to -"

He cut himself off when he caught Nick's eyes on him once again, telling him in no uncertain terms that this was neither the time nor the place to exchange recipe ideas. Hank's eyes, in turn, were suddenly full of reproach.

"You could have told me, Nick, why didn't you _tell_ me, all these times I've been over at your place and I had no idea.. and I've just made a complete dick of myself, too", he threw Monroe an apologetic glance.

"Don't worry about it", the clockmaker smiled.

"I'm sorry.. I just wasn't sure how you'd react", Nick sighed, "and if.. well, if you'd want to be my partner still.. I mean, _police_ _partner_ ", he was quick to clarify. Damn, he'd never actually noticed the ambiguity in that word. Maybe calling Monroe his 'partner' earlier wasn't such a brilliant idea.

"What?", Hank exclaimed in shock, "Why would you even _think_ that? Why wouldn't I want to be partners? You're the best damn detective I've ever worked with!"

"Hm.. I don't really.. well.."

Nick was feeling increasingly silly. His blush deepened and he started fiddling with his tie once again. Monroe fought the temptation to take Nick's hand and liberate the long-suffering item of clothing. But, in all honesty, he was kind of enjoying watching his lover squirm. It was a little bit of sweet revenge for all those times Nick had introduced him as a 'friend' over the course of the last seven months and twenty-one days. And three hours. Besides, the Grimm smelled even more delicious when he was sweating. In the end, Hank was the one to rescue him.

"Look, I'm really happy for you, Nick", he patted his partner on the shoulder. "Both of you. Honestly, whatever floats your boat, man. I'm just glad to know someone's looking out for you. Someone good and decent."

He gave Monroe an approving nod.

"Thanks, Hank", the clockmaker said gently, "and Nick's looking out for me too."

At that point the Grimm decided they needed to stop this _right now_ before it got any soppier. There was that tingling sensation in his nose already. Also, frighteningly, Hank looked like he was about to hug them both.

"So, Hank!"

It came out a little louder than necessary.

"What about your new nurse lady? Judy, right? Thought you were getting on so well, you didn't bring her?"

"Oh, Nick", Hank sighed, "she dumped me earlier this evening. It's a long and fucked up story."

Well, that explained why Hank was so tipsy already. It also promised to be the perfect distraction.

"Great!", Nick exclaimed, "I mean, that's terrible! Gotta tell us all about it."

"I will", Hank threatened, "but let me buy you two a drink first."

"They're free Hank."

"Oh, yeah. Anyway."

They went to the bar and had some beer and food, well, Monroe had food as Nick was still way too high on adrenaline to stomach anything. But he wasn't so scared anymore. It got a lot easier after the first time, somehow, and when they were walking around the room later on he was almost starting to enjoy the way those syllables felt in his mouth and rolled off his tongue whenever he introduced Monroe: boyfriend.

Admittedly, some of his colleagues took a little longer to process it than others, and some were better at hiding their surprise than others, but it never went as badly as he'd expected. Though Nick wasn't really sure _what_ he'd expected, but somewhere deep down he must have had that horrible thought in his mind, the image of people staring at him in disgust and walking away to never talk to him again. That never happened. Though, of course, he was perfectly aware that people would be talking behind his back for a while, but he was pretty sure he could handle it.

Unsurprisingly, Wu's reaction had been the strangest of all. He took Nick to the side and asked if Nick would be interested in purchasing a leather paddle from him, which, it turned out, Wu was manufacturing as a side business. Nick had never been so quick to escape a conversation in his whole life.

And then, at one point, he lost Monroe, the way it always happens when a party is successful. He scanned the room and discovered his boyfriend deep in conversation with a female colleague he'd met before, someone Nick knew was a vegan too. He smiled. Well, at least Monroe found someone to discuss the versatility of tofu with. The next time Nick looked the clockmaker was surrounded by a small group of people and seemed to be telling them something really funny as everybody was laughing. Monroe was so weird. He didn't even _like_ parties, or large crowds of people in general, but once put into a social situation like that he usually turned out to be a pretty good entertainer. He seemed to have countless stories on a variety of peculiar subjects up his sleeve. Their eyes met across the room and Nick's heart beat faster, like it always did, but this was special, he felt proud that he would be taking Monroe home later tonight. He was talking to Dr. Harper at the time and when she asked who he'd brought along Nick grinned and pointed and said it was the tall guy, his boyfriend. Monroe was always easy to point out.

They ended up staying longer than expected. The room was thinning out already, Hank had left, Judy called out of the blue and he rushed off. He never had much luck with girls, the poor chap. The captain had only showed his face briefly and Nick didn't even get to talk to him, but he was not unhappy about that. He was sat on the edge of one of the tables, dangling a bottle of beer between his fingers and staring into space as he enjoyed a moment of peace. He was a little drunk, but mostly he was just feeling strangely content, not something he experienced a lot.

"So.. do you come here often?"

Monroe sank down onto the table next to him, supporting himself on both arms and stretching out his long legs.

"Nope", Nick smiled, "only once a year."

"Well, I'm glad to see you're still alive", one of the blutbad's feet slid across to rub against Nick's, "it wasn't so bad then, I suppose?"

"No, it wasn't", Nick admitted, grudgingly, "it's not such a big deal after all, nobody gives a damn. You were right."

"I'm sorry, what? Could you say that once again, please? I didn't quite catch that."

"Shut up", Nick grumbled.

"Alright, I will now", Monroe laughed, "because I found _this_."

Nick looked over at the item he was holding. It was a branch of mistletoe.

"Eh, wait a second, I don't think we should -"

He was cut short as Monroe lifted the branch above their heads and pulled him in by his tie with the other hand, bringing their faces together. Why should it be Nick's prerogative to abuse that poor tie?

Once their lips were touching Nick gave up protesting. There was something exhilarating about this, he'd never kissed Monroe in front of anyone before, apart from Rosalee, of course, who knew from the start. It was like he could finally breathe free for the first time, though, in actual fact, breathing was difficult right now.

Monroe held on to the tie when he released the detective's mouth, keeping their faces close.

"It's not true that no one gives a damn, Nick", he muttered," _I_ give a damn. It's a big deal _for_ _me_ , to be with you. It means everything."

"I think I'm gonna be sick", Nick chuckled – and yet he could not stop smiling.

He leaned in for another kiss. He was stupidly in love with this guy right now and he did not care if the whole universe knew.

* * *

A/N 2: So originally I wanted Renard to catch Nickroe kissing but then I decided to cut this scene because I wanted to keep the story short-ish. Please drop me a comment if you liked this. :D I do love comments.


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